THE 3 MISTAKES OF MY LIFE

It is the story of Govind Patel and his two friends Ish and Omi . All of them were of different temperament , skills , passion and demeanour in life.

The book resembles a Bollywood flick as it portrays everything friendship, breach of trust, shattering of dreams, political and naturalcalamities , love, passion , hatred et al . Govind, a young boy in Ahmedabad , with an aptitude in maths opens a cricket shop along with his two friends Ish and Omi in a temple premise. They face varied hiccups in realising their goals in life.

As the name suggests , the book revolves around the three prime mistakes committed by Govind owing to most mundane reasons .
First, out of greed he lays all his eggs in one basket and puts all his savings and his friends to own a shop in a mall. Unfortunately, due to earthquake the shop gets destroyed and he loses all the savings of his life.

Second mistake committed out of lust and overwhelming impulse when he screws up his friend Ish sister . Ish had asked him to teach his sister Vidya maths.He gradually falls in love with her and crosses all limits of trust and faith. Almost at the end of the plot Ish comes to know about their coition and break all ties with Govind for three years. Ish’s apathy and his own culpableness coerces Govind to pop up sleeping pills and write an Email to Chetan Bhagat.

Third mistake committed was out of fear while saving a muslim boy Ali from the mob. The boy was gifted in cricket. Ish pledges to give him a national presence . But while a mob attack , Govind gets delayed by a second in taking decision and the boy’s wrist gets injured which damages his flair of batting

The book depicts multiple emotions like all three of them betting their lives for a stranger and counter religion boy Ali, Ish’s passion for cricket and how he tries to fulfill his unrealised dream through Ali,the ugly face of politics and much more

The language is quite simple and lucid ,hence, can be enjoyed by all age groups.

GO KISS THE WORLD

My profuse thanks to Subrato Bagachi for providing us such a wonderful book to read. It is a magnificient collection of his real life experinces, learnings and answering most pertinent questions we face in our day to day life.

He had a humble beginning of his career as a clerk in a government office and went up to co-founding MINDTREE – India’s first venture funded IT Services Company and get publicly listed. All this was possible by sheer hard and smart work , picking up from his own mistakes , listening to his senior’s suggestions and adhering to his mentor’s advice.

I have quoted a few excerpts from the book which I found quite relevant and practical.

Blessed are the one’s who get a genuine adviser at some point in their life. They will not only caution and prevent you from falling into a trap but also bolster and guide you through as you tread different walks of life. In his words:

“ Most people covet good jobs , great postings , higher salaries etc. what they call as job satisfaction. I would , however , trade all of that for opportunity to work for a great boss. “His mentor was Dr. Sridhar Mitta who has set up Wipro’s R&D from scratch. From him he learnt his first rule for managing is to listen. “This most bosses find difficult to do because in order to listen, you must first suspend all judgement”. This is a clear stark portrait of today’s managers who barely have any time to listen to their subordinates or advice him.

One of subrato’s challenge when he returned to India was to give Wipro’s R&D office a contemporary look.On the contrary, his this endeavor was negatively reflected in his 360 degree feedback as not being cost conscious. Being upset he went to Dr. Mitra wherein he was advised “ we live in a world in which perception is reality . And that it takes time for perception to build up “. Understanding the implication he went back and worked with same fervour but this time conscious of his actions and words.Again, next year he got same feedback from his peers . Devastated he once more went to Dr. Mitra . Dr. Mitra said, “ while it takes time to build perceptions , it takes even longer for perceptions to change .” He understood the significance of the fact and says that “ in our work , we need to be sensitive to feedbacks and work to correct ourselves but shouldn’t expect people to change what they think of us overnight . Negative public opinion most often has some basis and we must have the grace to accept it. “. Over a period of five years he was finally able to transform the R&D division.


He has discussed in the book the importance of a salesperson and the essence of selling. He exhibits a brilliant insight on sales. As per him:
“ No other profession teaches you the true worth of your own abilities than a sales job. Reason , the outcome is completely binary. Either you have made sale or not. It requires one to listen so much . Learn to read body language and emotions. Learn to isolate the stated needs from unstated concerns of customer. Like an iceberg nine-tenths of a customer’s needs and requirements are hidden below the surface of what he’s telling you as you are pitching your products. A good salesperson learns to understand and address these.
Selling and negotiations are intertwined . You negotiate with your colleague, boss, peer, children and complete strangers. Only selling teaches you nuances of negotiation. “

I found his tip on frustration quite germane . He says:
“Frustration without capability to change things is like a radioactive material burning inside you. It is the difference between your ambition and your capability. Either improve your capability or lower your expectation. Don’t sit there with the radioactive turned inward. Not everything around you can be changed by you. Focus on issue that fall in overlap of your zone of concern and zone of influence. Concern without influence is of no use. “

His book is full of such interesting anecdotes, tips and quotes. A must read for all.

DAYCARE : A boon or a bane

A child is born. He’s welcome with loads of greetings, love, gifts and celebration. As he grows up there’s another thing waiting for him. It’s DAYCARE. Today’s parents are quite mature and are quite planned. Planning starts right from when to conceive, delivery dates and sharing of responsibility post birth.

Initially there used to be joint families and the child used to grow up amongst grandpa, grandma, chacha, chachi etc. There was no room for loneliness. Childhood was all about love, care and lots of pampering.

Now as more and more working class are moving to metro cities and quite many women are taking up job , the concept of joint family is fast fading and is ushering an era of nuclear family. To keep up to a certain lifestyle and to obtain acceptance amongst peer and social class it’s becoming mandatory for both the parents to earn.


All the above factors have resulted in mushrooming of daycares in all cities whether big or small. Daycare as the name suggests means the enterprise will take full care of your child , give him healthy food , friendly and loving environment, pollution free atmosphere with A/Cs in all rooms, fantastic study material, lots of activities like karate, gym, dance, paintings etc. What else the parents need??????? All is being taken care of without an iota of hurdle in their daily schedule. Thus carefree from child’s side, parents can concentrate more on their career and bring home more money.


Now lets look from the child’s perspective. Even he or she is happy amongst friends. They all eat together, sleep together, dance together and everything together. Discipline is maintained. There’s time for eating, sleeping, playing, studying. They gradually learn to adjust, become extrovert, sharing, friendly, independent, and everything good seems to be happening.

But on the flip side, we see the parents leaving their three to six month baby in a daycare because of the above facilities. For such parents, kids are no more the gifts of God but more of an unavoidable responsibility. I don’t deny that love and care is required at all age but at such a small age more tender care and love is necessary. The child is small and immunity is non existent. In such a case falls an easy prey to loads of diseases.

Daycare seems to be a paradise for parents to live their angels behind. The facilities are world-class like cctv’s , a/c, splash pool. Better the facility, higher the fees.
Beautifully decorated rooms, lots of toys, amazing hygiene….what else the child needs???
We should ask this question to ourselves. How long can we stay in a mansion, with good food, lots of people, modern facilities but no one amongst our loved ones. At the end of the day you would like to run away to be free and to be with people whom you love.

But what can even the parents do????. In such a competitive world it takes much time and effort to build career. It’s not possible for everyone to sacrifice everything, sit ideal for 2-3 years and restart from zero.

To wrap up of what I think, overall, daycare has become a very lucrative profession. It provides a win win situation to all. Parents are assured of child’s supervision and care and they can follow their career and growth path without hesitation. But at the same time parents should make sure that in their rat race “ kho na jayen kahin ye, Taare zameen pe “

Traditional Formats united to challenge Retail biggies.

Take a look at this:
Reliance Fresh has a strategy of targeting 3000 households in 2 km area. Catchments and store will offer more than 150 varieties of fruits and vegetables, and along with this lower price and great ambience.

No wonder, independent family run Kiranas, General store and chemists which make up India’s traditional retail universe are reeling under pressure of these retail biggies. They are finding it hard to cope up with the huge margin pressure and betraying customers.

Recent retail forays like Future Retail, Reliance Fresh, More; Chou pal with the best retail practices and technology advantage are posing a threat to the very existence of the mom and pop stores. To complicate further, the MNCs like Carrefour, Wal-Mart and Tesco having saturated their respective countries are now eyeing on India. This breakneck retailing revolution has put everyone in a state of panic. Local provisional stores are dying with apprehension as how to combat big retailers discount, freebies and other attractive customer policies; Retailers are facing hurdle in opening stores across all the state ;and government on the other hand is facing the nationwide protest against big retailers and MNC’s. Customers though winner almost in every case, still have to put all their purchases on hold for weekend or leisure time to visit the supermarkets to avail the discounts and freebies.

In such a scenario, Bhartiya Udyog Vyapar Mandal( BUVM ) has come as a win win situation for all. It’s the biggest national level association of kirana/mom and pop stores. It comprises 17000 state and district level association covering 27 states. The co-operative throughout India is aimed at helping its members to benefit from a common sourcing and shared infrastructure (logistics, storage and billing) platform.
The societies will be jointly owned by some 2000 small retailers in each state. The members would be the ones who own small provisional stores. These shopkeepers would calculate their monthly goods requirement and then approach and negotiate directly with the manufacturers like HUL, P&G, ITC etc.

Such collective buying on one hand will put the society at par with the mall requirement and on the other hand would save the margins that would have been eaten away by the middlemen. Together they will pose a challenge to the big retailers of the country.

I hope it’s going to put an end to all the disputes by putting the local retailers at par with Retail bigwigs and MNC’s.

Growing luxury market in India

Indians have finally learnt to spend. The traditional concept of earn and save is giving way to earn and enjoy. No wonder luxury and extravaganza is flowing and flooding. Everything seems to be working and hence, entrepreneurs and corporates are daring to launch innovative and exclusive products without much apprehensions. Yesterday’s comfort has become today’s necessity. Designerwear , expensive jewellery , exclusive dining etc is no more the prerogative of rich and famous. Even an average upper middle class has atleast one designer wear in their wardrobe, affords diamond and loves to celebrate special occasion in a five star hotel.

Today’s generation can be said to be achievers. Thay earn with a specific goal in mind. Now-a-days a youngster in his 20’s affords mobile phone, apartment, car etc.
EMI’s have made the things even more simpler. There’s an extraordinary confidence to be seen around.

This newly acquired spending power has given a special place to India in global economy. Almost all the International retail chains in any sector whether food & FMCG , designer clothes , shoes , toys , cars can’t even think of ignoring India. Fiat to roll out Alfa Romeo and Ferrari; Omega launching its jewellery collection; Swarovski to create new crystal design with Asian touch are few evidences that corroborates the lately developed exquisite taste of Indians.

Though we still cannot ignore the fact that all this is dominant in metropolitan cities. India is still essentially a rural and agricultural country where farmers commit suicide when crops are destroyed or monsoons fail.

But then luxury is meant for niche and crème da la crème . I’m sure the scenario will gradually shift to Class B towns and trickle to almost all strata of society. Till then lets appreciate this start and lets live in style.

QUIT MAHARASHTRA

By asking the non- Maharashtrians to vacate Mumbai, the politicians have made a complete farce of democracy. What I have read in history is that the people all over the country had united to fight for freedom for the entire nation. They would have hardly imagined that the country for which they had sacrificed their life, one day would be fighting amongst themselves for their states. Credit goes to some handful of politicians who have been successful in sowing the seeds of hatred for their selfish motives.

Recently, the whole nation had stood up for Harbhajan Singh for the remarks made by Aussie’s and we are repeating the same back in our own country.

It has always been known that people go where the jobs are and jobs go where the people are. Since time immemorial the people had been traveling from Village to City in search of work ( as depicted in books , movies etc.). Most of the parents take pride in saying that their children is working in U.S and U.K , then why criticize when one goes to another state in search of work. Isn’t it a double standard? Today people working abroad are not so insecure as those who have settled in other state within India. Is it the fault of people if their state is not so developed and cannot provide them job, work, food, security etc. They should either die of starvation or indulge into crime rather than work in different state and provide decent living to their family. In that case other countries are absolutely justified if they harass our people working there.

We stand for the biggest democracy in the world and are proud of freedom we enjoy in every aspect. Then why curb the freedom on mobility???? Why people fail to understand that it’s the people from all over the country who make the cities like Delhi and Mumbai a Metro. We Indians had always been very accommodating and have provided shelter to foreigners like Dalai Lama and Taslima Nasreen but today are showing dual behaviour towards our own people.

The foreigners had been taking advantage of our separatist and individualistic thinking and have ruled for long following the Divide and Rule policy. They understood we Indians could be divided on any petty issue and we have manifested the same time and again. Why we fail to realize that we are India and not Punjab, Maharashtra or Bihar. If one part of body is injured then pain is for entire body and to regain health it needs to be treated compulsorily.


Its very important to understand that if a person migrates to a particular state there’s always a give and take relationship. The person provides his service to the state , through consumption adds to the state’s revenue , pays rent, taxes etc. In return the state provides him employment, money, security, Peace etc. Then where’s the dispute???? There’s absolutely no ground of fight only if these politicians let us live in peace. How can one ignore that it’s the people from all over the country who have contributed to make Bangalore the Silicon Valley of India or bring IT boom in Hyderabad and Pune.


Its very surprising why everyone is so tight lipped on this issue ????? Why there’s no uproar in Parliament when hordes of ministers are from such states like U.P and Bihar. There is an urgent need of intervention before the issue gains ground and some myopic politicians of other state too start following the suit.

PARENTING AND MANAGERIAL SKILLS

Parenthood always comes with a mixed response of extreme happiness on one hand and lots of responsibilities, energy , patience etc on the other .But parenting has an interesting aspect which is hardly noticed. Believe or not parenting can make you an excellent manager.We all know that after becoming parents one is transformed into an entirely different person as in becomes more mature, responsible, prudent et al . To elaborate: What are the essential qualities that we look for in a good manager? To start with:

Team work: Kids have some hundreds of demands of which 90% we try to fulfill without applying our logic or rationale. Moreover, everything needs to be dealt with much patience. In an organization there are people of different temperament , attitude . Hence, to keep them glued together in a team again is a tough task . But after dealing with a child , I guess it becomes easier to handle people of all accord.

Hardworking , sharp and energetic:
Rearing a child means lots of stamina and high energy level . One always has to be on their toes either taking care of their child’s tantrums or keeping an eye on them . Gradually such alacrity and adrenalin flows starts reflecting in day to day behaviour.

Good time management: Time management is considered good if within the stipulated time one is able to generate maximum output. As for a parents its always a race against time . Even 24 hours seems to be less . One tries to complete the major chunk of work when the child is asleep or rather tries to manage even five minutes of spare time. Work gets prioritized and the most important ones get attended first. Thus , one learns to prioritize and do efficient time management.

Good Motivator: A mother heartily motivates her kid even for his smallest achievements like scribbling, identifying an object or when puts his first step forward. That gradually becomes a habit because she understands that the child needs lots of encouragement and motivation for everything he does and most importantly even if he commits mistakes he does it fearlessly. That’s one aspect we always want to see in a good manager.

More than a boss , acts as a friend:
This is one quality which all of us adore . We all know to entertain a child we too need to become a child , think and act as he does. Hence, when in office you can easily mould yourself and can think on lines of your employees . All this will help in goal setting, harmonious relationship and friendly environment.

Carrot and stick approach:
As a parent one knows when to motivate , reward and when to punish the child. There’s something called “ Time Out “ when after giving few chances , its time to be harsh on child. Similar things happen in an organization. A good manager too follows the carrot and stick approach and very well knows when to shower kindness and when to be ruthless as far as discipline and efficiency is concerned.

To wrap up of what I think , a good parent can become an amazing manager. So, all those mothers who have quit their jobs for upbringing their child have something to cheer about . During the entire period of parenthood they undergo a complete metamorphosis and finally evolve as a person who is much mature , hardworking, patient and above all honed with good managerial skills.

Corporate better take a look!!!!!

Tips for problem Free Shopping

The sale of Goods Act ,1930 provides consumers with rights as a buyer.

Redressal

Decide what redress you want. You can ask for:
A refund of the total amount;
A cash refund for the difference what has been paid by you and the reduced value of the faulty item;
If you and seller agree can go in for a replacement or free repair.

What you will be entitiled to will depend on how serious the fault is , how soon you bring it to the seller’s notice and the terms of sale written on the seller’s letterhead or as stated on the cash memo issued.

In case the salesman is adamant then approach the store manager or the store owner. Don’t accept the credit note . In case you do you cannot buy anything else, it will be difficult for you to get your money back later.

Always be fair in all your dealings. You are not entitled to nothing if you have examined the item when you bought but have overlooked the defects.

If your complaint to shopkeeper is unsatisfactorily attended to, your second line of defence is the manufacturer. He should be sent the complaint through registered AD post. In case the complaint is still unattended take the matter through the consumer redressal agencies such as the National Commission , the State commission and the District Forums set up under the Consumer Protection Act., 1986.

Claims:

If you order goods which are not in stock , you can give a date by which they should be delivered to you. If it does not arrive on time can refuse to accept it.

Sometimes consumers are victims of untrue claims – for example: your drycleaners promised you same day service but took a week. If you have been seriously misled, approach the district Forum . The shop owner may be convicted and you maybe awarded a compensation.

Sometimes one pays a deposit for a thing to be delivered subsequently. If while paying the deposit , the seller agrees to return it, ask him to write it on your receipt. Also ask him to write “ Deposit will be returned if the goods are unsatisfactory “, and get signed along with the date. Follow this rule for any offer of after sales service too.

When you order something , both you and seller agree to a fixed price – but you will have to pay any increase in sales tax. If you have agreed not to pay a higher price at the time of delivery due to inflation , put it in writing.

PRANAYAM

Pranayam or breath control is link between mind and body. Prana means life force and anayama means control .By focusing on the breath , the mind becomes calm and balanced. Pranayama implies mastering the life force within. By controlling the motion of the lungs or respiratory organs, we can control the Prana that is vibrating inside. Everything we do uses life forces or Prana. For most of us this vital energy is constantly depleted and never recharged. Pranayama also helps to connect the body to its battery, the solar plexus where tremendous potential energy is stored. When tapped this vital energy or prana is released for physical , mental , spiritual rejuvenation.

Inhalation supplies abundant oxygen to the body. Exhalation expels waste products and toxins from the body. Retention is holding of breath to gain control and prevent dissipation of energy.

Pollution , bad posture like hunching and slouching , stress and faulty living habits allows us to use only a fraction of our potential respiratory capacity.In shallow breathing or incomplete exhalation not all the toxic and waste carbon dioxide is emitted , hence , it continues to recycle in the respiratory system thereby reducing the amount of new oxygen available for avioli. All this results in fatigue caused by improper blood circulation and insufficient supply of oxygen to blood cells.

The longevity of the body increases as the rate of breathing reduces. In the animal world , there’s a strong correlation between the number of breaths and life span. For eg. The tortoise takes 3 breaths a minute lives about 180 years while monkey which takes 30 breath a minute, may live about 20-30years.

One should not practice pranayam after a heavy meal because it reduces concentration as food causes some blood and oxygen supply to be diverted into the stomach for digestion.

MARRIAGE QUOTES

I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage.

Mohandas K. Gandhi

It is not a lack of love , but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriage

Friedrich Nietzche

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

George C. Lichtenberg

All weddings are similar , but every marriage is different.

John Berger

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

Katherine Hepburn.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times , always with the same person.

Mignan Mclaughlin

A good marriage is at least 80% good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust.

Nanette Newman

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Oscar Wilde

A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.

Rainer Maria Rilke

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewellery

Rita Rudner

The goal in marriage is not to think alike , but to think together.

Robert C. Dodds

My advice to you is to get married . If you find a good wife , you will be happy , if not you will become a philosopher.

Socrates

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love , and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.

Tom Mullen